When I Am Weak, I Am Strong

I just read a dysautonomia blog entry that contained some of the most depressing and hopeless thoughts I have read. This person cannot seem to find meaning for the life journey she is on since her diagnosis; while I do not relish a life with chronic illness I have found life-changing purpose since my diagnosis. In fact I have even greater clarity on the purpose and meaning of life since I was diagnosed.

It is all about perspective. I can choose to remain optimistic in difficult times, knowing that out of struggle comes victory. It has been the difficult times, the dark days that I have been driven to my knees in prayer because I had no place else to turn. It has been in crying out to God that my tears have been collected in heaven and the mighty hands of God have carried me. Faith, hope and trust are the only way to have this perspective. The alternative is to be pessimistic, angry, and bitter. This will only make a person weary and tear a person apart, slowly and painfully. It is a choice.  

In my weakness I am strong. In my suffering I become less dependent on myself and more dependent on God to direct my life. My temporary suffering will achieve an eternal glory for me. I gain empathy, compassion and love for others. If a person has no faith or belief their perspective becomes narrow, self-motivating and short-term. It is hard to be grateful and loving if one is angry, bitter and full of self-pity.

Again, I say it is about perspective.

…he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 
  

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When I Am Weak, I Am Strong...no crap in that!

Finding New Purpose...

Four years ago this month I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness that (so far) has no cure. I pray daily for “my” miracle but until that day arrives or until God decides it is time for me to come home to heaven I often struggle to find meaning and purpose for my days. The former life I had is gone and I am on a different journey. I have gone down the many roads such as anger, bitterness, grief, confusion, and regret…yet I find myself thinking that this is the journey I am destined to be on and I want to find meaning in it despite the circumstances. I am resilient..this may even be the beginning of something more meaningful. It has certainly helped me to reorder what my priorities are in life – what and who is important to me, how and whom I spend my time with.
I wonder how many other people have thought about how they would spend the rest of their life of they were told their life expectancy was shortened? What would they do with the time they had left? You see a “bigger picture” in many things. My ability to cope with crisis and problems has changed; I tend to not let things bother me – life really is too short. I want to show love better to others, to spend time with the people I care about, to savor the simple things in my life, to serve in whatever small ways I can.