Healing Broken Wings

It was a year ago that I received a healing miracle from God.  After years of suffering with an illness that I was told had no cure I felt the hand of God touch me and heal me. I had faith that God would heal me if it was His will.  I believe if it is God’s will that He can and does answer prayers.  My answer came in a way I never expected.  At the encouragement of a dear friend I traveled to Indiana to have a simple Amish man with a gift from God pray for me, lay hands on me and use his gift of Iridology to heal me.  I wrote about this experience in more detail last summer.

The past twelve months I have had a gradual and steady healing from nearly all of the symptoms that had previously debilitated me.  I say nearly all because there are a few annoying symptoms that God chose to leave me with to fulfill His purposes.  I have been able to gradually go off of all the medications that were being used to control my symptoms.

Thank you, Jesus for healing me. 

Please use my life in a way that is pleasing to You.

 

 

 

Matthew 9:22

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.   Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.   But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

http://www.amazon.com/Solomons-Touch-life-Solomon-Wickey/dp/1420850083

This year has been a year of changes...in my mind, body and spirit.  I have chosen to ~Live~Life~ Blessed~  regardless of whatever circumstances are taking place in my life.  I am blessed each day, even on the days that do not appear to be moving in the direction I think they should be.  Even on the most difficult days and in the midst of the most trying circumstances I can find a reason to be grateful.  God walks with me, carries me and guides me.

I am going to begin a new project that I am calling "The Blessing Jar"

Starting on the first day of the month fill the jar with notes about the good things that happen in life. At the end of each month empty the jar and read about all the blessings that have been experienced.  Do this each month for a year and be amazed at all there is to be grateful for. ♥

 

 

"I will make them and the places surrounding my hill a blessing. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."

Ezekiel 34:26

 

Living Blessed

Free yourself from negative people.  Surround yourself with those that are  loving and will help to nourish your heart and soul.

Let go of those who are already gone.  People that have detached themselves from your life and sometimes you need to let them go.  Move on, some people are meant to be in our lives for a short season.

Encourage and motivate others.  Cheer for and help to uplift those around you.  Life is a race of endurance and we all need others to help us finish the race well.

Be your imperfectly perfect self.  We are made exactly the way God designed us to be.  Each of us is unique.

Forgive people and move forward.  Do not allow anger, bitternes or hate to alter the path God has you on.  Forgive the people that have hurt you for your own well being.  God will take care of the details.

Do acts of kindness.  You will always receive more than you give.

Be loyal.  Be the person that can be depended on.

Always tell the truth.  Always.  A half truth is still a lie.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Let your yes be yes and your no be no. God always knows.

Stay in touch with the people who matter to you.  People will find the time for what is most important.  Where your treasure is there too will be your heart.

Listen carefully.  Many times it is best to speak less and to listen more.  Silence can often speak loudly.

Take care of yourself.  You are precious so treat with special care.

Give what you want to receive.  What you sow is what you will reap.

Ignore hurtful people.  Sometimes you need to walk away.

Pay attention to who your real friends are.  Many will claim to be your friend; your hear and soul will be able to tell the difference.  Unconditional love...

Voice of Truth

Others may not always understand the journey I am on.  They will not choose to follow the same path I do.  Friends and family may not be supportive or encouraging.   I have a deeper calling on my life from God that I must follow.  Following the leading of the inner spirit He has placed in me means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others.  I will not be concerned about what everyone else thinks; rather I will keep living and speaking truth.


Each day has struggles, temptations and disappointments.  However, if I choose to live in God’s presence I will also live a life that is protected, directed and blessed.  This path will not always be easy but it will be rewarded.  I will choose to live my life blessed and grateful.  There are hidden treasures of blessing in each day if I look for them; some days I have to dig deep to find them.  The biggest obstacle to living a blessed life is often me.  If I get out of my own way and relinquish control everything works out much better.  I have discovered that seeking Him first, listening more and waiting patiently are essential to living blessed.  Gratitude is an attitude of the heart and soul. 

"Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.”  – Psalm 86:11

Simple Joys

This morning I awoke to the sound of rain pounding on the roof and my husband snoring beside me.  I had to just lay there and smile because I was so grateful for the moment.  Life is always just one heartbeat away from eternity.  While I am secure in where I will spend eternity I also have learned to cherish each moment I have here in this life.  It is the simple things that seem to give me the most joy. 

 

 

 

Sharing waffles and hot cider at four in the morning with my husband because I could not sleep after another dream woke me up.  Sitting together in the adirondack chairs long after dark just to be outside as long as we can because we both know soon it will be winter.  Our devotion time together is my favorite.  We have this little book called “Jesus Calling” that we read & discuss each day.  We laugh together, dream and talk about the future.   We will cherish the little joys each day and hang on through the difficult days knowing all of them are numbered and held in God’s hands.  Enjoy each day as it comes and look for the simple joys. 

 

 

 

 

Jesus Calling Book:
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Enjoying-Peace-Presence/dp/1591451884 

Healing Heart

"A heart at peace gives life to the body..."    - Proverbs 14:30

 

 

"The results of your recent echocardiogram are normal". I smiled to myself when I got those results a couple weeks ago because I have not had a normal EKG for quite some time since being diagnosed with dysautonomia. Of course it was normal. This has been the summer of miracles and healing!

Once I decided to allow my life journey to be on a path that God controlled rather than one I dictated, controlled and manipulated the journey has become very clear, peaceful and blessed. There is still chaos and uncertainty many days but I feel a sense of calm even in the midst of storms all around me.

 

I received another phone call the other day. One of my doctors called to see if everything was okay because I have not had an appointment or called him for over four months. I have not been to the emergency room for over six months.  I used to look at my calendar each week and be overwhelmed by the number of medical appointments I had. My life was going from one clinic, hospital or testing facility to the next. My Sunday evenings were spent preparing for the medical onslaught that waited each week; filling pill boxes, refilling prescriptions, finding drivers to take me to appointments, completing paperwork, battling insurance companies, then the hours of actual time at each appointment. Not anymore. God has been gracious and removed some of that from me. I have been able to stop some of my medications; filling the medication boxes is quick & easy. I feel well enough to drive most days or even walk or bike.

The last piece seems to be the digestive issues. They have gotten better but I am experiencing some detoxification that is taking time. Healing has been a process; it has been a journey of faith, trust and obedience. I believe more will continue to take place. I will be patient and remain faithful.

Occasionally I have a day I still need to rest; I know the signs.  Even those days I feel the healing hand of God upon me.  He always has a plan...



God's Healing Touch

This summer I journeyed to Indiana to visit an Amish man whom God has given the gift of healing.  His name is Solomon Wickey.  He uses iridology (examining the iris of the eye), applied kinesiology and prayer to determine what is wrong with a person and if it is God’s will healing can occur.  I first heard about Solomon when my friend in Ohio went to see him last year and was healed from both dysautonomia and lupus.

In July I had my first visit to see Solomon.  He is an elderly, Amish man.  Simple, humble, and I found out he is funny.  When it was my time to see him I sat in a chair facing him while he asked what was troubling me.  I had a horrible headache the morning I went to see Solomon. I told him I had a brain lesion and that my autonomic nervous system did not function properly – that my brain did not send the correct signals to my body to function the way it should.  I told him about my tremors, pain, and erratic heart rate. He looked at me, smiled and said “well, we know that cannot be because you are a blonde”.  Ha ha ha!  I almost started laughing hysterically – the Amish man was telling a blond joke!  I smiled, lightly laughed and said nope.  He asked me to remove my glasses so he could examine my eyes.  He then had me hold my right arm out and laid his hand on it, lightly pushing it down.  He closed his eyes for a brief period of time, quietly speaking in prayer. Next he picked up a bottle of some type of herb, again softly praying. He asked me if I had metal in my mouth.  What an odd question, I thought.  I told him I had a couple old silver fillings. He told me some of my health  problems are from mercury poisoning. Mercury poisoning! I have amalgam dental fillings.  This type of filling is silver and mercury.  Solomon told me they needed to be removed, that the mercury is leaking into my body & they are slowly poisoning me. He said once they are removed I also needed to detox any traces of mercury from my body.  He suggested a teaspoon of vegetable glycerin for three weeks to “draw” the metal.  The mercury would bind to it and pass safely from my body.  This revelation did not surprise me; my neurologist/autonomic specialist at Froedtert/Medical College of WI had suspected and tested for various types of metal poisonings but the lab tests he had conducted came back "in normal range" so it was not pursued; well, in people with a chronic, genetic illness any levels of elevated metal in the body can be dangerous, toxic and will continue to kill cells. I was told if I don't rid my body of the metal I will continue to get sicker.  I had a massive headache before my appointment, when I left it was completely gone and I felt peaceful.

This was now a matter of trust and obedience and God would know this.  It was no coincidence that the one and only thing I would be asked to do would be something difficult for me.  I hate going to the dentist.  I had to decide if I would ignore the healing message God gave Solomon for me or I could be obedient and trust to have healing in my life.  The week after my appointment with Solomon Wickey I made an appointment with the dentist to have my amalgam fillings safely removed; I then did the three weeks of mercury detoxification.

The night I saw Solomon I slept through the night for the first time in many, many years and have continued sleeping through the night since.  My muscle tremors have stopped and my cognitive function has improved.  I completed a 5k walk at the end of July with no side effects.  Last year I participated in the same event and needed to go to the emergency room after for IV fluids because it took such a toll on my autonomic system.

I made a second trip to see Solomon in August.  I wanted to ask him about the headaches and unequal pupil dilation I experience.  At this appointment he again examined my eyes - he could see significant healing.  Solomon laid hands on my forehead and said my brain lesion was gone.  He then had me hold my right arm out, laid his hand on it, lightly pushing it down & prayed.  Next he laid hands on my neck and told me he had “released” my thyroid.  I asked him if I needed to do anything else or take any herbs or supplements.  He said no.  I thanked him…He replied, “thank God”.  I smiled at him and told him I thank God each day.  Solomon smiled back.

In the weeks since my second visit to see Solomon I have had no more headaches or visual disturbances.  I am continuing to sleep well at night.  I have no pain or muscle tremors.  My heart rate and blood pressure have been stable. 

 

The type of dysautonomia I have is genetic; if God allows me to live more “symptom free” it is a blessing.  If He chooses to allow some “thorn” to remain to keep me humble & under His wing that is also a blessing.  Either way, I am grateful, loved and His chosen.

People who do not believe in God & healing may not understand this.  This is a faith journey.  It is God doing what God does.

God has given this gentle, humble Amish man the gift to heal...what a perfect way for God to work.  To choose a man that will use the gift freely for only God’s glory and purposes.  Solomon charges no money to heal.  He uses the gift God gave him to serve and honor God.

Sometimes we cannot find the words to describe what happens when the hand of God reaches down and touches our life...we just need to let our heart & soul be overflowing with gratitude.

I am blessed beyond measure.

 http://www.amazon.com/Solomons-Touch-life-Solomon-Wickey/dp/1420850083 

When I Am Weak, I Am Strong

I just read a dysautonomia blog entry that contained some of the most depressing and hopeless thoughts I have read. This person cannot seem to find meaning for the life journey she is on since her diagnosis; while I do not relish a life with chronic illness I have found life-changing purpose since my diagnosis. In fact I have even greater clarity on the purpose and meaning of life since I was diagnosed.

It is all about perspective. I can choose to remain optimistic in difficult times, knowing that out of struggle comes victory. It has been the difficult times, the dark days that I have been driven to my knees in prayer because I had no place else to turn. It has been in crying out to God that my tears have been collected in heaven and the mighty hands of God have carried me. Faith, hope and trust are the only way to have this perspective. The alternative is to be pessimistic, angry, and bitter. This will only make a person weary and tear a person apart, slowly and painfully. It is a choice.  

In my weakness I am strong. In my suffering I become less dependent on myself and more dependent on God to direct my life. My temporary suffering will achieve an eternal glory for me. I gain empathy, compassion and love for others. If a person has no faith or belief their perspective becomes narrow, self-motivating and short-term. It is hard to be grateful and loving if one is angry, bitter and full of self-pity.

Again, I say it is about perspective.

…he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 
  

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When I Am Weak, I Am Strong...no crap in that!

Breaking Free

I have not written for many months...so many reasons why. Physically I have been in crisis, spiritually I have been under attack, emotionally I haven felt empty and often at loss for the right words to express what I am going through. God has used this time to bring me to a place where He is the only refuge I have, the only place I can find peace and the only source of all of the answers I seek.

I have been chained to my life; a life with a chronic illness that medical professionals have told me has no cure. There have been many days none of what I have experienced that past several years have made any sense. I have argued with God, debated with Him, bargained with Him, and begged Him to heal me…and I have waited.    

Faith.  The bottom line is that He has been developing my faith.  There have been other lessons thrown in; compassion, empathy, patience, charity…but the main one has been faith. 

My faith has grown.  I feel my heart and soul becoming filled with so much joy no matter what my circumstances.  My body is physically ill but my spirit soars. 

…and now, God is sending me on a different journey, one He has laid before me.  He has said “if you want to be healed have faith, trust me and be healed”.  The chains are about to be broken…

“Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

Matthew 9:22

Passing the Important Tests

I am chosen.  I am blessed.  I am protected.

I have been given divine power to battle any enemy.  

God has given me wisdom, discernment and strength.

I wear armor that will never be taken off.

I have stood face to face against the forces of darkness and had the power of my King surround me.

No evil weapon formed against me will prevail.

I am priceless to God.  His death and resurrection prove my value to Him.  His truth guides me.  The opinions of others will not change who I am to my King.  His grace, love and mercy are all I need.

"I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you."  Luke 10:19

The enemy has tried to attack me and failed. God has once again protected me and shown His might and power.  I have experienced a period of testing that has included forces of darkness and evil showing that they will try anything and use anyone in an attempt to destroy God's people.  The mistake the enemy makes is that I am one of God's chosen and He protects me.  I am a child of the King.  I passed His test.  In the eyes of the world, in the eyes of mockers, scoffers and unbelievers I will continue to be ridiculed.  I know truth.  God knows my heart and soul belong to Him.  I know which side wins.  The battle lines are drawn and I will see victory.  My eyes remain on the prize.

A Time to Heal

Do You Want To Be Healed?

In the Book of John, Chapter 5 there is a wonderful story about Jesus having a conversation with a crippled man at the pool of Bethesda.  It was said that when the waters in this pool of water stirred they had healing powers so many sick and ill people stayed around the pool, hoping to be first into the water when they moved, hoping for a chance to be healed.

John 5:5-6

One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”
 

What a question to ask someone who has been crippled for thirty-eight years! Why wouldn’t he want to be healed?  Odd question….or is it?

Change and fear of the unknown can be difficult.  It is not always easy to give up control of the things that cripple.  A new sense of normal settles in.  Pain, self-pity, loneliness, and fear somehow become familiar and safe.  Peace is made with the illness and life passes by.

“A familiar captivity is frequently more desirable than an unfamiliar freedom”.  C.S. Lewis

Are you defined by your illness?  Do you have an illness or does your illness have you?  This is an important question to answer because once you have decided to succumb to your illness you stop fully living the life intended for you.  Stay strong, keep fighting and have a desire to be healed. Faith that you can and will be healed comes from placing yourself in the hands of God and trusting Him.

 Do you want to be healed?  Do you REALLY want to be healed?  Are you ready and willing to face the challenges, possibilities and uncertainties that life holds if you are healed?

John 5:7-9

Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”  Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”  At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

If you are ready to accept God’s healing, ask Him.  God heals, gives miracles.

 

This is a step of faith.  It is a move toward God.  You have to want to be healed.

Choose to Be A Blessing

Physical symptoms have nothing to do with abilities. This morning I woke up to a variety of symptoms that I could allow to alter the course of my day. My brain is foggy, my tummy is tossing & turning and every muscle in my body is screaming..but my mind and spirit, they will prevail. I have the free will to choose how this day will go in spite of how I physically feel. I can decide to turn the negatives into something positive today...to be a blessing to someone else.

A few kind words written or spoken to another person, a smile, a photograph or a package or card mailed...all may brighten the day of another person. A silent prayer offered up, a song that is sung as worship...being kind...all reasons to be joyful and full of gratitude.

I have had some people tell me that I am "too positive" or "overly optimistic"; that I have a false sense of reality about my illness. I don't have any illusions about dysautonomia. Not one. I know exactly what I have. I heard the doctors' diagnosis and prognosis loud and clear. However, I will not let dysautonomia define who or what I am. I refuse to give up and become a "victim”, a person who does not try to beat the odds. Instead I choose to push the limits and live my life to the fullest. I also serve a God who is mighty. I believe in miracles.

Ironing...With Joy

I could take my husband’s shirts to a laundry to be pressed but I don’t.  Instead I choose to do them at home because while I am ironing each one I pray for him.  As I carefully iron the back of the shirt I pray for my husband to continue to be the strong man of God that he is.  I use those moments to express my gratitude for the love and faithfulness he has shown me all the years we have been together.  I thank God for placing him in my life.  I carefully iron around each button using tender care not to burn them, thinking about all the precious moments we have shared together.  I press the pocket on the front of the shirt fondly think of how I can feel his heart beat when he hugs me.  As I iron the sleeves I am thankful for all the nights the arms that fill them have held me and comforted me in my pain, lifted me up when I have fallen and hugged me in my joyful moments.  As I iron the collar I remember the many times I have hung onto his neck when I am weak, when I am sick and when I just need to feel connected to someone.  I suppose I could save some time by taking his shirts to the drycleaners…but I know they will not pray for him and love him like I do.  Thank You, God for blessing me.

Weapons of Choice

This is worth repeating...

When you decide to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior God claims you as His own. Once you do this your enemy, Satan, will try even harder to attack you. The enemy will wait until you appear to be weak and fire his arrows to bring you down. I do not think that Satan is behind all bad things that happen to us but he will try to use bad situations or weak times to gain access to us. This is why it is important to be on guard, to have on your full armor at all times and to be in God’s word and continued presence.

It is dangerous to think that just because you have made a profession of faith you will not come under attack. Actually I believe you get attacked more because the enemy wants what he does not already possess. Do not underestimate the enemy because he is clever, often disguised and hidden in ways you may not suspect. Daily being connected to God, in His word and using the power given to us are all weapons we can use to fight this formidable enemy.

Put on the full armor that God has given you! The enemy creates distractions so when you forget to put the armor on he can attack. This is life or death. The stakes are high. This is mortal combat. If you are living without your full armor on you are in great danger.

Satan's time is running out and he knows it. He is ramping up his attacks so be ready. Put on your armor and keep it on.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:10-18




Other Suggestions for the Battle Plan…

* Staying in God’s word on a daily basis
* Being selective of what you read, watch and listen to
* Be mindful of who is influencing you
* Put on motivating music
* Call, chat and be in contact with people who can encourage, challenge,love and help keep you accountable
* When you feel isolated, depressed or under attack reach out to others who can come along side you

Don't Mess With "G" Force

Tomorrows I am going to walk in my first 5k since I was diagnosed with dysautonomia/autonomic dysfunction...this is a goal I have, a "bucket list" item of mine and will be a huge victory if I accomplish this.

I have asked my friends and family to pray for me...well, I REALLY need those prays to start NOW!

Stupid dysautonomia symptoms are rearing their ugliness...I had a feeling this might happen. I have an unseen enemy that does not want to see me accomplish this victory. My gastrointestinal symptoms have been horrible. I am also having visual and cognitive issues. I have been feeling extremely well for many weeks; now right before my walk I am under attack. That's okay, I have been in this place before and I know how to summon the greatest weapons necessary ;)

I have my attire all laid out for my "big day" tomorrow. I am wearing my Green Bay Packer "G Force" tee-shirt; it is appropriate because it is the Packer's 5k event and I have will have the power of my God to carry me across that finish line :)

"Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. "Ephesians 6:16

Children Who Love

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it". Proverbs 22:6

I am thankful that both of my children have chosen to be kind, loving, gentle and compassionate people. They live their lives in a manner that extends love to others. They do not judge others based on appearance, status in life, or how others think – they just love. They treat others with dignity and respect. They assist anyone in need simply to show love, expecting nothing in return. This makes my heart joyful.


From the time they were young we raised them to always be accepting of others regardless of race, handicap, economic status, brand of clothes, size of home, etc…accept and be kind to everyone because you do not always know the life or story of individual people. Every person has a story if you take the time to listen. My children have had friends from all walks of life. We have traveled many places, from prosperous areas to third world countries. In all these places we have had adventures and met wonderful people. God loves all people.


One day my children will stand before God and He will look at the fruit in their lives, how they treated others, how well they loved…and whether or not they loved Him. At that moment all that will matter is what He thinks. Thank you, God, for always protecting the hearts and souls of my children.

Winner Takes All

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you."

2 Chronicles 20:17

For many years I have been fighting an illness that has no cure. I was told to expect that my life expectancy would be altered, that my symptoms would gradually worsen and that the best that could be done for me was to treat the symptoms. I have followed all the medical recommendations of my doctors and specialists…and I have prayed to God that if it was His will, that I be healed. For almost five years I have experienced a gradual decline in my health, my symptoms have worsened and the flare-ups of dysautonomia have become more frequent.

About six months ago I began to feel a strength that I believe can only be the result of supernatural intervention, from the hand of God upon my life. He has made it clear to me that He is in control, has a plan unfolding and I will be part of it. There is a battle that rages not only inside my body from this illness but another one in a spiritual realm and it is intensifying. I have been instructed to make certain my spiritual armor is on at all times. I have also been told to share this part of my journey with others…if you read this blog, you are one of them. There is a sense of urgency, that timing is critical. I feel peaceful. The battle is already won; the outcome decided…I just need to remain steadfast. This will probably be quite an adventure…ready, set, go…winner takes all and I am in the game!

Blessed Days, Heaven Inspired Nights

I love summer! It is my favorite season. The garden is in bloom so I enjoy fresh lavender, bouquets of cut flowers, and fresh herbs for cooking.

I enjoy sitting in my favorite napping chair in our “outdoor living room”, the gazebo, which faces the gardens and bird feeders. I can see and hear the variety of birds that visit each day. For the third year my mama wren has returned to keep me company. I can read, write, worship and pray all while I am surrounded by beauty.

Another favorite summer activity is grilling outdoors and dining in the gazebo. I love the flavor of foods cooked on the charcoal grill. Fresh caught trout, homemade pizza, bbq chicken wings, and turkey brats…yum! I have summer dinnerware in a variety of colors to create festive, casual or romantic moods.

Heavenly nights…oh so special when they include messages directly sent by God. I am in awe of how much God loves me. For many years I have been blessed with the gift of discernment and intuition regarding people and events. With wisdom, grace and discernment I have made many decisions in my life that have proven to be both beneficial and in line with what I believe is God’s will for me.

I have also had dreams that have had significant meaning and have been confirmed through other events, conversations and prayer. God has been good to me. He has protected me and lifted me up through the pain and suffering of this incurable illness that I battle every day. He has given direction and confirmation for decisions we have needed to make. God has made it clear to me that He will be with us no matter what the circumstances.

This winter I experienced God in a way I never expected…He sent a messenger directly to me. It was an encounter which included information, encouragement and motivation to remain steadfast and strong. A second visit came this spring offering more specific information and again words of encouragement.

From the Book of Daniel:
…again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. “Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.” When he spoke to me, I was strengthened…

Spa Recluse

The past couple days have been very rough. I have had a "headache from hell". Along with it comes the nausea and digestive problems that sweep over me like waves that never stop crashing onto shore. On days like these I need to dig deep and hold onto my faith because otherwise be so easy to give up. I lay in my dark room, quietly praying for relief. My bedroom becomes a mini-sanctuary...today I am thankful for the room-darkening blinds.

Knowing I need to stay hydrated I made myself some brew-over-ice sweet berry lime tea and drank that while resting in the extra-deep soaking tub. My spa at home...then back to bed.

I am extremely grateful that the horrid headache I have had for the past three days is finally lifting. I was able to go sit in my outdoor napping chair today.
Sunshine again too :)


Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

Be Still...

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

Yesterday was a difficult day because I had severe dysautonomia symptoms flare up. I was on the verge of fainting each time I stood up. I have not felt this ill for quite some time...beautiful summer day and I needed to spend it in bed, ugh. I am grateful for my husband who is sensitive to my needs. Thank you, God, for putting him in my life.

Other things I am gratful for:
If I have to spend most of a day in bed it is nice that the sheets have been hung out on the clothesline and smell so good

Talking to both of my daughters on the phone; hearing their voices lifts my spirit.

Grace, mercy, knowing that my God has already won the battle.

Each day is a new day.

Summer Days...

Today I enjoyed a relaxing day with my husband. I love weekends when he is home with me. We enjoyed lunch in the gazebo surrounded by the sights and sounds of the garden and outdoor birds. For the third year "our" wrens have returned and are building their nest in the small pottery birdhouse we hung on a hook outside the gazebo. After lunch we did a little garden shopping then headed to our favorite beach at Shadow Lake in Waupaca for the evening. As we opened up our beach chairs to set them up, out spilled sand from out last beach adventure, Clearwater Beach in Florida last December...ahhh, I have missed the beach and my toes in the sand. We ended the day making homemade fruit smoothies. Thank you, God, for a beautiful day...with the one I love. Today I beat dysautonomia.

Sunshine & Love Calling

The sun came out today! SUNSHINE after a week of rain and gloom is glorius! Thank you God for this blessing.

My husband calls me every day at noon just to check on me and to let me know I am loved. I look forward to his calls because many days it is the only human contact I have during my day. Since I have been ill and I am no longer able to work outside the home I do not get out as much. Today is a bad dysautonomia symptom day but knowing I am loved lifts my spirit. I am thankful that I have been blessed with a husband that loves me so deeply.

Summer Gratitude Journal

Living with dysautonomia is often an everyday struggle for me. Typically it is difficult to get even the basic necessities of life accomplished. If I can manage to get a shower, dressed, feed my birds and a few household chores completed I feel pleased with myself. Yet, every day, I am blessed in many, many ways. I have decided to start a “gratitude journal” for the summer. Every day I will find something to be thankful for. Even on my worst days God extends me grace, mercy, love and blessings…I just need to recognize them. “Officially” summer began on June 21st so I had a little catching up to do. I will post something each day that I am grateful for…or incorporate it into my topic.

June 21st
The first "official" day of summer. It is cold, damp, raining but I am extremely blessed as I sit here snuggled up with Paul and a cup of tea.

June 22nd
Enjoyed ourdoor dining on the patio at Zuppa's with Paul for dinner. The storm clouds were passing all around us but never over us...just as we finished and got back in the car to drive home the torrential rain came pouring down; perfect timing, God.

June 23rd
Fresh coffee, my cockatiel that shares Cheerios, it stopped raining long enough for me to take a short walk.

Control Freak Rehabilitation

One of the most difficult things I have had to accept and learn to become accustomed to since being diagnosed with a chronic illness is that I am not in control of my life; every day is unpredictable. Prior to getting sick I always thought I was in control. I was the planner and organizer, I figured everything out, and others could count on me to help. Being sick has forced me to slow down, to depend on others and to view life with an eternal perspective. Knowing my life expectancy has been shortened has jolted me with a sudden realization that I never really controlled anything; being in control was an illusion. I take nothing for granted and relish the small, simple things in each day. I savor the blessings granted to me.

At first the loss of my independence was a struggle that frustrated me beyond belief. I also had moments of great sadness and needed to grieve the loss of my life as I had come to know it; learning to become patient and wait…wait for God to make a move and let me know what His plan was made me feel extremely uncomfortable at times. It was during the long days and nights of silence, pain and crying out that I eventually came to a place of peace, contentment and feeling blessed. Being stripped of my former self has given me the opportunity to become the person God wants to shape me into.

Along with patience have come other virtues that I am embracing such as endurance, empathy and resilience. I feel so calm. This past year in particular I have felt a peace that is indescribable. My body may be weak at times but spiritually and emotionally I feel strong. God has taken me to a place that is beyond my expectations. I have prayed for physical healing and it has not happened but for the first time I am okay with where He is taking me. I feel Him preparing me for something far greater than what I was expecting. He is simply asking me to be patient. He has asked me to trust Him and wait for His plan to unfold.
I hear His voice, loud and clear. I feel His presence. I see Him at work all around me. He reminds me that He is in control. Would I have spent all this time with Him, listening to Him, seeking Him, crying out to Him if I had not been so sick and forced to slow down? This most difficult time has turned into a blessing.

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 40:1
I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry.